Friends urged to respect boundaries

posted in: Opinion | 0

Over my four years at Pacific, I have found it inevitable that I will en- counter many situations in which I am stressed, over-worked, overwhelmed and desperately in need of a reconnec- tion with my barely-existing social life. As proof of this, I have managed to fight through my senior year holding two jobs, my position as executive editor and an active role in my sorority.

I do love being busy and to be hon- est, it does keep me out of trouble but I still make sure to take a break. However, I make sure that before I take these much-needed breathers, I take care of my primary responsibilities.

Where am I leading you with this lecture on responsibility? I want

to make sure that students not only hold themselves responsible but also allow their friends the opportunity to be responsible.

For example, when I receive a text asking me to join in on a social gathering or perhaps grab a drink with friends, I may reply that I can’t because I am working on homework.

What should you gather from my response? The appropriate next step is certainly not to respond with guilt about how I “need a break” or I “should come join in on the fun.”

Firstly, guilt is not the proper way to get your friends to come out and have a good time. I would rather be socializ- ing than working on my thesis but if I am guilt-tripped, the tone is already set against both the friend and the event.

Secondly, I would not be turning

down an invitation if I did not have a good reason to do so. In my opinion, it does not make someone look good as a friend if they try to get you to abandon the things your education depends on, just so you could do something that absolutely could have waited until the weekend.

In conclusion, I am very much in favor of taking the breaks you need to keep your sanity while in college. That may mean taking a rain check on that party to make sure you do not have to wake up at an ungodly hour, hung-over the next morning to make sure you com- plete your essay before class.

But most importantly, do not hold others back from the time that they need. Take the hint. Let them do what they need to do. Never push your friendship.

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