The Birds and the Boxers: Love in the Time of Coronavirus

Each year, as the end of spring semester approaches, Pacific students start getting busy (in every sense of the word). When the cherry blossoms in Trombley Square begin bursting, pheromones everywhere follow suit. Unfortunately, due to quarantine, the only birds and bees buzzing on campus right now, are the actual birds and bees. Most of our lives happen at home these days, and our sex lives are no exception. Many of us have either been cut-off from our partner(s), or suddenly shut-in with them. Even single folk are now faced with navigating a completely digital dating scene. It’s lucky that we have the Internet at a time like this, and the wise words of sex and relationship experts, for advice on how to keep things sexy in quarantine.

Single in Self-Isolation

If you were hunting for a hookup or looking out for love when the stay-home orders struck, all hope might seem lost. I get it. However –if solo sex is your thing– you might be on the road to the best sex of your life. Afrosexology (an organization promoting Black empowerment through sexual liberation) is here to help you with just that. Find their Instagram ( @afrosexology_ ) and read “Sex and Social Distancing: A Guide to Solo Sex”. Included in this short guide are seriously hot strategies and important reminders to help make masturbation a little more magical. I’d recommend it for anyone, regardless of relationship status. 

Cut-Off by COVID-19

Global pandemic or not, managing any relationship at a distance is difficult, but partners and playmates of the world should take solace in knowing we live in the golden age of digital boning. You can videochat from literally anywhere and there are sex toys controlled by an app, even from miles away (search “We-Vibe’ Chorus Vibrator”). But if you’re looking for a little guidance, and you’re experiencing a longing of pandemic proportions, check out another installment from Afrosexology titled “Sex and Social Distancing: How to Sext”. Find within it the definition of sexting, strategies for sexting, and the important reminder that consent is mandatory before sending sexts to anyone. The tidbit I like most is, “[s]exting may feel silly at first and that’s okay.”

Coupled in Quarantine

Very rarely does social isolation bring out the best in us, therefore a little conflict in quarantine is to be expected. Earlier this month an article appeared in New York Magazine titled “A Therapist’s Advice for Couples Isolating Together” in which clinical psychologist Orna Guralnik speaks to some challenges people might be going through in their relationships. Among the advice given are suggestions like: adhere to a firm schedule and do things to make your partner feel appreciated. But the best advice Guralnik gives tells couples to take time apart. Not just an hour either, “a full day, a day and night apart. Take the chance to center yourself and miss the other person.” Having entered what was essentially a brand new relationship just as this crazy quarantine business was beginning, I’ve quickly come to learn the beauty of boundaries. Although setting boundaries and communicating needs is crucial to maximizing pleasure, it’s not easy. That’s why I’m so grateful for folks like @whatswrongwithmollymargaret in Instagram, who recently posted a series of text templates captioned “10 Ways to Set Boundaries During Quarantine”. The templates can be used for a variety of situations, whether you’re wanting more alone time, or wanting more attention from your partner. 

If there are any topics or questions you’d like to see covered, or if you have any steamy, awkward, or adorable confessions, send an email with the subject line “Boxer Confessions” to birdsandboxers@gmail.com for a chance to have your story appear anonymously in the Index.

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