All of your fears about living with an assigned stranger have come true; your sleeping schedules are completely different, you don’t like the same things and you both have different definitions of the word ‘clean.’
The most difficult aspect of having an incompatible dorm mate is that now there is the unappealing task of confronting or being confronted by said dorm mate.
For the majority of problem-having dorm mates, there is a mutual understanding that things aren’t quite working out as the Department of Housing had hoped.
But for a few people, what was thought to have been working out for one, may not have been working for the other.
Freshman Sara Rodgers explained, “I couldn’t talk her out of it so there was really nothing I could do.”
In a situation like this, it is not something that can be helped, but it is possible that the issues may be resolved. With a little more communication on both sides beforehand, if not a change in decision, then maybe both could have walked away still being good, if not close friends.
While it is understood that people who are in the same majors or sports do have that in common, that does not necessarily mean that they will have the most important things in common in order to be compatible dorm mates.
Freshman Katie Tougas said, “in the future, students should not be roomed together just because they have similar majors.” Things like sleep schedules, whether or not one parties or even the dedication level that someone has to their education are all important enough to have a significant impact on the relationship between the roomies and should be treated as such.
For the roommates who happen to be polar opposites, there is most likely going to be some previous understanding that the living situation isn’t going to work out.
This does make it slightly easier in that because both roomies are unsatisfied, they will both be wanting to have a change; the only difficult part is trying to figure out who is staying and who is moving. If they are having issues talking it out like the adults that the law states that they are, they can always resort to a good game of rock-paper-scissors.
The problems that occur are mostly due to a lack of communication; while this lacking is not the only problem that flat mates have, it is a big reason as to why many people who are moving out may not necessarily be leaving on the best of terms.
The whole point behind living with someone entirely new isn’t to find your exact twin, even though that does happen occasionally. It is to see how well you can communicate with people that are unfamiliar and who have a different background.
But that is not to say that if you are not compatible that you try to tough it out. As the brilliant Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”