Bean Bags & Plywood

Creation of varsity corn hole coed team excites student athletes

Cough Drop Dave

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Pacific University will be expanding its already healthy athletic program next year with the addition of a coed varsity cornhole team, according to an anonymous source in the Stoller Center.

Athletic officials refused to verify or deny the addition.

“It does make sense,” said one athletic department official. “It will provide an off-season way for baseball stars, softball players and football quarterbacks to keep their throwing arms in shape.”

There is also a chance for Pacific to receive national television exposure from the sport. Teams from schools like Alabama, Georgia, Johns Hopkins and others have been featured on remote ESPN channels in the past year.

“They need more and more sports to fill in the time slots,” said an athletics spokesperson.

Additional benefits include increased recruiting possibilities and minimal costs.

“If we get just one person coming here for the opportunity to play varsity cornhole we will have paid for all of the necessary facilities,” which are listed as two sheets of plywood and two dozen bean bags.

“Plus it gives us a chance to have a truly coed team.”

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