University listens to students’ needs, indulges what they really want

As of April 10, the Tim and Cathy Tran Library on Pacific University’s Forest Grove campus will no longer stock its shelves with books.

Books were long used by people as a way of gathering information, and for some, even as a form of entertainment. They were particularly popular at schools and university campuses, where learning was a popular occurrence.

But times have changed. People no longer need to know things and the time when people could be entertained by reading a mere novel is long gone.

“Books are so antiquated,” Shelby Cokeley, a student who works in the Tran Library said. “Everything we can learn from books can now be looked up online in under a minute.”

Instead of continuing to operate under the delusion that students use the library for reading, library workers will now embrace its true utility to students: a space to escape the stress of college life. So instead of books, and a place to study, the Tran library will now provide students with alcohol and a place to party.

The library will now operate as a full three-story bar right in the middle of campus. The library revamp will include a change in name from Tim and Cathy Tran Library to the Boxer Den.

A recent survey by the Undergraduate Student Senate showed that looking at other students studying in the library caused 70 percent of students second hand stress.

According to the survey, the resource that students feel campus needs most is easier access to alcohol for students under 21 years old. The library will now fill that hole in campus’ needs

“What students need more than another place to stress over homework is a place to forget the stress of schoolwork,” Cokeley, who was recently promoted from research assistant to bar manager, said.

With only a Boxer card and no state-issued form of identification required to enter the library, purchasing and consuming alcohol could not be any easier for students under 21 years of age.

For those looking for alcohol outside of the library’s regular operating hours, the 24 hour room will continue to operate all day every day as a self-serve liquor store.

For students that prefer to destress without alcohol, a marijuana dispensary will be added on to the Tran library in fall 2018.