Scandal has hit Pacific University over spring break as the Boxer statue was found to have a joint containing over two ounces of pot placed in its mouth.
The Boxer, a well known advocate for marijuana use,is known to enjoy a blunt from time to time with friends. This is not the first time the Boxer has been caught.
Pacific University fears that having the mascot obviously engaging in this sort of reckless behavior will put their reputation as a smoke- free campus in jeopardy,while also negatively influencing students.
The university has yet to track down the suspects who have defiled the Boxer.
Despite this, it’s safe to say that the Boxer is flying like a kite.
The incident was first reported on Saturday, March 26th, when many students and faculty members witnessed a giant white object projecting from the mascot’s mouth that afternoon.
The university is now mandating a search of all campus facilities for either marijuana or arts and crafts supplies as part of the construction of such an abomination.
So if you’re an art major you better watch out, because your scissors and glue could be considered possible accessories to the crime.
Campus Public Safety Officers have ruled out the new Shango Cannabis Dispensary as a possible outlet in which the suspect had obtained such an absurd amount of pot, but the jury is still out.
Unfortunately, this will not bode well for the Boxer with the National Collegiate Athletic Association’s new drug testing policy for mascots.
There are some some conspiracies that this was a last act by Jeb Bush supporters in order to revamp his image to re-enter the presidential election, while an anonymous source claimed that, “the Boxer was just trying to have a good time, man.”
The incident has left students wondering what these tricksters will do next? Where will they strike? And where did they get a hold of that much sticky icky?
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